This glossary explains the terms and abbreviations that you see in adult chat rooms. The entries are in alphabetical order, and each definition is one or two plain sentences. The last section explains four terms as this site uses them.
If you are new to chat rooms, read how to start a conversation in a chat room next.
A to C
- 18+: For adults only. Every user of an adult chat site must be 18 years old or older.
- AFK: "Away from keyboard". The person is not at the screen for a moment.
- Aftercare: A calm talk after an intense scene or roleplay, to make sure that each person feels okay.
- ASL: "Age, sex, location". An old opening question. Many people find it lazy as a first message.
- Ban: A block that stops a person from using a site. On this site, a ban works by account, by network address and by device.
- Bi: Short for bisexual. A person who is attracted to more than one gender.
- Bot: A program that pretends to be a person. Bots usually send the same line to many people, often with a link or a handle.
- BRB: "Be right back". The person leaves for a short time.
- Catfish: A person who uses a false identity, often with photos of another person, to deceive others.
- Consent: A clear and free "yes" to a specific thing. A person can take it back at any time, and silence is not consent.
D to H
- DM: "Direct message". A private conversation between two people. It means the same as PM.
- Dom: Short for dominant. The person who leads in a power exchange scene or roleplay.
- F4F: "Female for female". A woman who looks for a woman.
- F4M: "Female for male". A woman who looks for a man.
- Flood: To send many messages or images quickly, so that others cannot follow the room. Flooding is against the rules here.
- Ghost: To stop replying with no explanation.
- GIF: A short image that moves in a loop, often used as a reaction.
- Guest: A user with no registered account. On this site every user is a guest, because there is no sign up.
- Handle: A username, mostly one on another app, such as a Snapchat or Telegram name. Public rooms here block off-site handles.
- Hard limit: A thing that a person will never do. It is not open to discussion.
I to L
- IC: "In character". Text that your roleplay character says or does.
- Ignore: A control that hides the messages of one user from you. Other sites call it mute or block.
- IRL: "In real life". Your life away from the chat.
- Kick: To remove a person from a room. A kick is usually shorter than a ban.
- Kink: A sexual interest that is outside the common range. What counts as a kink differs from person to person.
- LGBTQ+: Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and more. A collective term for sexual and gender minorities.
- Limits: The things that a person does not want to do or talk about. Ask about limits before a scene or a roleplay.
- Lurker: A person who reads a room but does not write. Lurking is normal, mostly when a person is new.
M to O
- M4F: "Male for female". A man who looks for a woman.
- M4M: "Male for male". A man who looks for a man.
- Mention: A message that contains the name of a user, often with an @ sign, to get the attention of that user.
- Message request: The first private message to a stranger. The other person must accept it before the conversation continues.
- Mod: Short for moderator. A person who enforces the rules of a site.
- Mute: To hide the messages of one user, or to stop a user from writing. On this site, the control for the first meaning is Ignore.
- NSFW: "Not safe for work". Content with nudity or sexual themes. Do not open it in a public place.
- OOC: "Out of character". A note from the real person in a roleplay, often in double brackets: "((brb, 5 minutes))".
P to R
- PM: "Private message". A conversation that only two people see. Some sites call it a whisper or a DM.
- Report: A message to the moderators about a user or an image that breaks the rules.
- Room topic: The subject of a room, such as roleplay or singles. Talk that fits the topic gets better answers.
- RP: "Roleplay". Two or more people write a story together, each as a character.
S
- Safe word: A word that stops a scene or a roleplay at once, with no questions. "Red" is a common one.
- Scene: One session of roleplay or kink play, with a start and an end.
- Selfie: A photo that you take of yourself. A selfie with your face can identify you, so think before you send one.
- Sexting: An exchange of sexual messages or images by text. See sexting etiquette and consent.
- Sextortion: Blackmail with intimate images. A person threatens to publish your images unless you pay or send more.
- SFW: "Safe for work". Content with no nudity and no sexual themes.
- Soft limit: A thing that a person mostly does not do, but can agree to with care and trust.
- Spam: Unwanted messages that repeat, mostly advertising. Spam is against the rules here.
- Sub: Short for submissive. The person who gives control to the dom in a scene or roleplay.
- Switch: A person who likes the dom role and the sub role, at different times.
T to Z
- Troll: A person who writes to make others angry, not to talk. Do not answer. Use Ignore, and report if rules are broken.
- Vanilla: Conventional sex or conversation, with no kink. The word is a description, not an insult.
- Verification scam: A trick where a stranger asks you to "prove your age" on a linked page. The page takes card details or money.
- Whisper: An older word for a private message inside a chat room.
Terms this site uses
Four terms have an exact meaning in this product.
Message request
To write to someone in private, tap the username and tap "Message". Your first message to a stranger is a message request. The other person accepts it, ignores it, or replies. A reply also accepts it. Until then, you cannot write again and you cannot send images. An ignored request looks the same to you as one that waits. The guide to how private message requests work explains the limits.
Mention
A mention is a room message that names you. The setting "Mention alerts" in the chat controls the alert for mentions. A mention is public, so everyone in the room can read it.
Ignore
Tap a username and choose Ignore. Use it for people who annoy you but do not break a rule. To reverse it, choose "Stop ignoring".
Report
Tap a username and choose Report, or tap an image and choose "Report image". The report goes to a human moderator with the last 20 messages for context. Use it for content that breaks the rules: minors, threats, harassment, spam, sales and the other banned themes. The guide to how moderation works explains what comes next.
You can see most of these terms in use in the adult chat room and the roleplay chat room.